Never Wish


I sat down to write a comedy bit about parenting and instead this was written. For My Kids

530222486_1367588843I spent the better part of my adult life not as happy as I could have been. None of that has to do with you kids, you make me happier than anything ever could. My greatest accomplishment in life is you three children. I am immensely proud of you and am astonished everyday at the people you’ve become.

I spent so much time feeling unfulfilled. I remained far too long in a job that while it was steady and provided for us left me empty and unhappy. I’m chasing it now and that’s good but for too long I trapped myself and there was no way for me to escape. So many things I wanted to do that were swept under the rug, put on the back burner and never fulfilled. I would hate for that to happen to you. I never want you to look back and say what if…Don’t Wait. Some of the advice here is stuff that’s been said countless times by others, but I want to convey a few things to you.

Besides laws that need to be followed there are NO RULES in life. Don’t follow any, As long as its lawful do what makes you happy. No matter what it is. If college isn’t your thing DON’T GO. IF you want to travel…GO! Find your way to the places you want to see and NEVER worry about leaving your parents behind. Experience life to its fullest. Don’t worry about what we might think, if you’re happy then we are happy. If loving someone of the same sex or a different race or nationality is what your heart tells you is right WHO am I to say your heart is wrong. BE with who makes you HAPPY. There is no greater joy for a parent then to see their children happy.

Don’t worry what others will think, be YOU. Never let lack of confidence stop you from anything. Summon the courage and do it. Get up and try it. Dance, act, sing, run, invent, run for president. You can never achieve anything if you don’t first take a step forward and try.

Everyday BREATHE in life deeply and chase the adventure. If you feel stagnant, MOVE, follow the dream, the adventure, and make your life exciting. When you have a family, place them on the top of your list and share the adventure with them. Instill in your children the excitement that is life! Encourage them to explore and watch them blossom. Enjoy every second. Take the time to smell the roses. Soak in a sunrise or a sunset. Take your headphones off and listen to the wind, the birds, the crashing of the waves the heartbeat of the one you love. These sounds are the greatest hits ever. Don’t get caught up in commercial items. Life is wondrous and beautiful…BREATHE IT IN!

Love and let yourself be loved. Don’t be afraid to give your heart to someone and, equally, don’t be afraid to take someone’s heart. Sometimes your heart or their heart might break but never let that stop you from loving. Your family and friends are your marks on life. Let them know how important they are to you.

Laugh, at yourself and at others (When appropriate). As you get older lines begin to show on your face, make those creases of laughter not of worry and frowning.

Above all, NEVER WISH you had something. Go out and get it. I did a lot of wishing and I regret it. Void your life of wishes, because you’ll spend too much time thinking of those wishes and not making them happen. Instead make them goals and go out and achieve them and you’ll never have regrets. When you wish upon a Shooting Star they burn out quickly and so will wishes. Capture the brightness of that star, however brief it is, and infuse that light into your life. You’ll be happier for it.

Categories : Family Life


  1. Dan butters says:

    That is the most powerful and insightful words I have ever read…I wish I had heard them in my youth….I will still heed them..even at my age and I will be sure to pass them on

  2. How I wish someone had cared enough to share those thoughts and wishes with me when I was young! And while I wish I hadn’t had the traumatic experiences I did, it was in response to them that I became who I am and how I fell into the field I did. And, because it was what I knew most intimately, it was a field that I could best support my family. Sometimes we make sacrifices for those we love, and they are not “one shot deals,” but an extensive bodies of work- like a first career. Someone once told me that “God gave us the gift of life, what we do with that life is the gift we give back to God.” You have given the world three beautiful children- respectful, responsible, loving children who will do wonderful things in their lives. They came from the love and commitment that you and your lovely wife built over the years, brick by brick. And the courageous work you did, keeping order in a community that sometimes didn’t seem as though it appreciated it. You gave a lot of yourself in that role- as a model, and as a mentor. And while you sometimes seem dismissive of the “life” you left behind, please know that you touched many lives providing a sense of stability and a safe environment in which they were able to address THEIR pasts and to begin to finally heal. And while it might feel as though you were simply “marking time,” short of spouse and fatherhood, you may have done some of your most important work. Go well, my friend!

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