Ten years gone. Ten years in time for those of us that
survived, ten years in missed opportunities, unrealized potential and ten years
of lost dreams for those that perished.

We will all reflect upon where we were and what we were doing
when the planes hit on that crisp beautiful September day in 2001. I was at
home getting dressed to go to work as a police detective in NJ.  As I saw the reports come in I knew I had to
get to work right away, and off I went. As I drove to work the reports of the
first tower collapsing blared at me over the car radio. I was dumbfounded,
until I looked towards the northern horizon and could see the smoke and dust
rising from the area the towers once stood. Panic calls from my wife, should
she get the kids from school. What should she do? I was in complete police
officer mode then, not husband mode, I didn’t offer her words of comfort the
way a husband should. I told her not to panic, to remain calm and let me find
out what is going on. My wife often suffers from my “police officer”
persona in times of crisis and never gets the benefit of a husband that truly
shows the vulnerable side that she may sometimes need. I was scared but I had
to maintain control. I always cherish and appreciate the fact that she has in
the past and continues to understand who I am and my reactions are based on
training.

There was confusion at police HQ as we assessed what was
going on and how many people would go to the site to assist in what we believed
would be rescue operations. I was assigned as family liaison, helping to
coordinate children who were separated from their parents who worked in NY and
in some cases in the towers. In fact my job throughout was dealing with the
families of the residents of our town that perished that day. I worked with the
Medical Examiner’s office for nearly a year until we had confirmation through
DNA that all our residents remains were recovered.

I did not go to ground zero that day, but did go in the
days that followed. I worked the site and the destruction witnessed firsthand
is indescribable. Pictures and television can NEVER do it justice. The
desperation in people’s eyes and their pleas to find their loved ones is
haunting to this day. The toll it took on the fire fighters, police officers
and emts that searched the debris daily is an overwhelming thought. I keep the construction hard hat I wore as a reminder.  The silence
amongst heavy machinery was unreal. The feeling of hope drained daily to a
feeling of sadness as the realization set in that this was no more a rescue
mission but everything from this point forward was a recovery mission. The
entire area had become a graveyard with large pieces of twisted steel the
tombstones that marked the final resting place for 2,606 heroes.

Despite the despair, a feeling of unity was prevalent-
patriotism flowed through the mounds of debris and it was as if 2,977 (total number of victims from all 9-11
sites) unknowing patriots cried out God Bless America.

Six months after 9-11 I had to tell the wife of one of
the people that perished in the North Tower that her husband’s remains had been
identified. The news was delivered to me late on a Friday night. It was not
information I felt could wait until Monday so I went to her house at 11pm and
gave her the news. She yelled at me for delivering the news to her at 11 pm on
a Friday night when there was nothing she could do about it until Monday. She
was right and I felt horrible, I was so sick of dealing with 9-11 everyday,
phone calls, letters, stacks of cases on my desk, but in that moment of her
yelling at me I received clarity. What I went through daily since 9-11 was
NOTHING compared to what these families were enduring the day of, 6 months
later and today. I have great respect for those families and while I don’t see
them very often any longer I keep a little letter written by a then 9 year old
boy thanking us for looking for his father who perished that day. I often visit
the memorial our town erected to honor the residents of our town that perished
and reflect on the lives of people I never knew while alive but learned so much
about in death.

We will reflect on the 10 year anniversary and remember
that fateful day, I wish we could recapture some of the patriotism that was so
strong in the months that followed…football games will be played that day,
children will laugh and our lives will go on after we reflect for a brief moment.
For 2,977 people at the World Trade Center, the Pentagon and Shanksville, PA their
lives were over in a brief moment. As we remind ourselves what happened that
horrible day a soldier will be in harm’s way and perhaps be killed.

We remember the 2,977 heroes that perished on 9-11-01 and
the 5,796 men and woman in uniform that have perished since. They left behind
wives, husbands, children, mothers, fathers families, friends and dreams of a
better tomorrow, what a shame if we allow those dreams to perish.

Share on Facebook

I normally reserve my blog for things I find amusing and rarely do
I post an opinion on here. But over the course of the past 24 hours I’ve found
myself as flabbergasted as the rest of the Nation in what happened in Orange
County, Florida yesterday afternoon.

Many of you are dumb founded that she was not convicted of even
child abuse and I am as well, but I can tell you based upon what I do for a
living it happens. While circumstances and actions all point to guilt, facts
and evidence sometimes don’t add up. Many times that is attributed to the
person actually being innocent, but often times it is the result of sloppy
police work, poor evidence collection, and overzealous prosecutors so anxious
to convict on a charge that won’t stick instead of a lesser charge that is
easier to prove. That motivation is usually politically based. I cannot tell
you if any investigative mistakes were made I wasn’t part of the investigation,
I can tell you that there is, in my opinion, one crucial thing that was
neglected, that probably would have led to a conviction of some sort. I will
touch on that in a moment.

The defense was to throw as much crap against the wall , see what
stuck, and what would sway the jury in their favor. A tactic that worked brilliantly.
The blame was placed squarely on everyone else but Casey. Dad sexually abused
Casey, Mom left the ladder to the pool open, Kronk sexually assaulted women
using duct tape. It was a horrible accident and the family panicked and
disposed of the body.

I often get very tired of hearing people use the excuse they were
sexually assaulted as an excuse for their poor behavior as an adult. It is
absolutely a horrible thing to be sexually assaulted and people who are deserve
every bit of our sympathy. However, because you were sexually assaulted does
NOT excuse you from actions you’ve done to others as an adult or excuse your
substance abuse or reckless behavior. While certainly as a child it is very
hard to see what is right and wrong, as an adult we grow up to know that sexual
abuse is wrong, and you have a responsibility, as an adult, to not only seek
treatment for yourself, but to push forward with prosecution of the individual
who caused you so much harm so that they cannot do it to another child. I am
sympathetic and I want to help but I refuse to excuse someone’s bad behavior on
the fact they were abused as a child…this is why Casey Anthony felt the need
to party? Why she didn’t report her child missing for 31 days? As an adult, a
responsible adult, if my kid is missing for 5 minutes I’m in a frenzy, whether
I was abused or not I KNOW it is NOT normal for a 2 year old to be gone for 31
days.

If it was an accident it is a tragedy, but why the need to cover
it up? Accidents happen, it is unfortunate but children drown in pools all the
time. I believe a recent study said one every 5 days. It happens everywhere in
America. Parents don’t go to jail because their kids drowned in a pool. They
certainly may feel guilt for the rest of their lives but they don’t decide to
hide the fact that their child drowned. They call the Police and First Aid,
they do everything they can to try to revive the child, even after the child
has been drowned for hours…I know I’ve seen how they react, I’ve been there.
Normal parents grieve and beg you to help their child…they DO NOT hide the
child’s body and go out and party and get tattoos.

I believe the turning point in this case was when Roy Kronk
reported seeing something “suspicious” in the woods in August of
2008. He reported it to the Sheriff’s office. It wasn’t until two days later,
after he called again, that a Deputy Sheriff met with him in the area. I don’t
know any of this as fact, but it is my opinion that that Deputy Sheriff did a
half ass job of investigating a “suspicious” item. The testimony and
reports indicate the area in August 2008 was flooded. Knowing the way some
police officers think, that Deputy probably didn’t want to walk out into a
swampy, mosquito infested area to check for any suspicious items. It was August
in Florida, hot and humid and he couldn’t be bothered. He berated Kronk for
wasting his time. Had that Deputy walked a little further or perhaps called
others to assist, the body would have been found sooner, the amount of
decomposition would have been less and PERHAPS enough evidence would have been
gathered to prove beyond a reasonable doubt what had happened to Caylee
Anthony. Surely that Deputy knew there was a child missing from the area and a
few seconds of discomfort in his/her day may have been enough to prove a case.
This was the most critical mistake in my opinion and shows you how such a
little thing can turn a case. The remains were not recovered until December
that same year, 4 additional months in the Florida weather surely destroyed
crucial evidence.

We’ve seen it happen before in the OJ Simpson trial, we believe he
is Guilty, but when evidence isn’t handled properly or details are over looked
it can open up enough reasonable doubt that a conviction is not possible. In my
opinion Casey Anthony had something to do with her daughter’s death, she did
not act like a “normal” parent would following the disappearance of
her child and she lied to authorities at least 4 times during the
investigation. Parents don’t need to lie unless they are covering something up.
But based on the evidence presented and the options given the jury could not be
convinced of her guilt beyond a reasonable doubt.

Our judicial system isn’t perfect, but more often than not it gets
things right. It’s been said it is better to have 1,000 guilty people go free
then to convict 1 innocent person. Casey Anthony will never be free, she is
guilty in the eyes of America and she will bear the burden of that guilt for
the remainder of her life. Only she knows, truly,  what happened to her child and while she was
found not guilty yesterday, she will be judged again and that time the rules of
evidence won’t apply, reasonable doubt cannot be relied on and then her true
guilt or innocence will be determined.

Share on Facebook

Barbie and Ken are getting back together isn’t that special…make your mind up already Barbie.

In 2004 Mattel felt that since they were changing their image of Barbie they needed to make her an unattached single, care free woman of the world. That a woman cannot be successful in this day and age while being attached to a man and that it was time to cast that man aside for her career advancement.

My thoughts on this; Barbie is a bitch and Ken is probably gay (not that there is anything wrong with that). I mean come on, Barbie and Ken have been romantically linked since 1961, yet has anyone really ever seen them kiss? The only time I ever saw them kiss was when I forced my sisters Barbie and Ken to ” do it” and even then Ken looked real uncomfortable and Barbie, well, she just looked sick.

Ken has always taken a back seat to Barbie and to me always looked very comfortable when his clothes were swapped with Barbie’s. Come on admit it, if you had a sister growing up you found yourself always wanting to torment Ken by putting him in Barbie’s apron, yet Ken always seemed to be a little too happy in her outfits, always smiling with those big white teeth. NO? You didn’t do this? Ok so I’m the only weirdo here.

Barbie, I think, used Ken. Barbie was too busy jetting across the world in her Malibu Jet and Malibu Motor home to really be concerned with “settling” down. Barbie had her own agenda and a damn the world and especially Ken attitude. Where was Barbie when Ken needed her, Barbie was too busy being Doctor Barbie, or Veterinarian Barbie, or Burger Flipping Barbie in Barbie’s McDonald’s Play Set. Barbie was shopping at the Fashion Mall and never once did she come back with anything for Ken. Sure the rumors were rampant that Barbie and Kung Fu Grip GI Joe had that illicit affair back in the 70s, but shortly after that romance ended has anyone seen or heard from Kung Fu Grip GI Joe again. Where do you think Kelly came from? They want you to believe Kelly is Barbie’s niece but look closely and you’ll see Kelly has that scar on her left cheek just like her dad. Just goes to show you what kind of user Barbie really is.

Then Barbie went and changed her image again she became Cali Girl Barbie and decided to completely leave Ken and just be “friends”. Ken was devastated by this and went on a 6 year Play-doh binge. He cleaned himself up and apparently professed his love all over NY. “Barbie we may be plastic but our love is real” OH Please Ken…you’d be better off with the Bratz Girls at least they won’t crush you and make fun of your non anatomical manhood.

I think we all know where this will lead, ten years from now we’re all going to say “Hey remember that Ken guy, I wonder whatever happened to him.” Meanwhile Ken, will be toiling around in obscurity in some back room bin of a dollar store remembering the days of his romance with Barbie, and secretly wishing he could wear her apron just one more time.

Damn that Barbie is a Bitch! Good Luck with that Ken! Sucker.

Share on Facebook

One of the things I always said I wanted to do was get up on stage and do standup comedy. I’ve always been told I was funny, in school, in the Army and at the Police Department I always heard “Dude you are F’in funny you should go onstage”.  I was funny when I was telling stories, acting things out or just plain making fun of people…I knew that wouldn’t translate into being funny onstage-unless of course I gathered a room of people who thought those stories were funny. I mean unless you’re a cop or idiot (same thing) telling a funny story about a death scene isn’t funny to most people.

So when I read about a comedy class being given at Catch A Rising Star in Princeton I just had to do it…there was no denying my inner comic, what’s the worst that could happen I’d get booed and called an asshole? I get that daily as a Police Officer, especially by the Governor of NJ. So I paid my money and attended class.

The class was put on by Steve Trevelise and Jimmy Graham, two very funny and talented comedians. Steve is well known on the radio in and around Philadelphia and Jimmy was part of the Murderers Row out of the Howard Stern Show.

We learned the craft of writing standup comedy,  how to craft those stories I had into jokes, how the story may be funny but the art of telling the story, acting out the parts, imitating voices, making stupid faces really made the joke. These were the things I was already doing. We were taught that being brief was our friend…to condense those stories down to their basic elements and getting to the funny stuff without all the filler.  We were taught that writing was our friend and that we should always have a note pad on hand or digital recorder so we could write down the funny stuff we observed, put our spin on it and craft a joke. I’ve never used the Voice Memo function of my iPhone so much. Always recording random thoughts, observations and funny jokes I’m lucky enough to think of in the middle of conversations.

We were told it takes a comic a year to come up with 30 minutes of material, they weren’t kidding. We had 4 weeks to come up with 7 minutes of material that we would have to perform ON STAGE at Catch A Rising Star in front of an actual audience…GULP!

Naturally I fell back to my career, I wrote Cop jokes but the funniest comedy comes from deep within, to find your faults and put them out for the whole world to see, tapping into those not only makes others laugh but in some way is very therapeutic. I’m a hypochondriac and it was easy for me to explore that and write some funny stuff. I spent my 4 weeks writing, enhancing, erasing, revamping, changing, cutting, throwing out, re-writing my routine up until 10 minutes before I went on stage at the graduation.

We performed our act in front of the other students so many times that they just stared blankly during rehearsal the night before graduation.  Does not do anything for your confidence when you tell a joke and no one even chuckles. But we heard it so much it just wasn’t funny…and that got me doubting my stuff was funny at all. CRAP what the “F” am I doing…I was praying for snow so our show would get pushed back another week, I needed another week to write more stuff, we had snow every week leading up to the show, it decides to not snow that week.

Our show was Thursday, February 3rd. I arrived a little early and had a couple of glasses of wine to calm the nerves which were surprisingly not as bad as I thought they would be ( the nerves, not the wine). It was an absolute packed house, well over 100 people in the audience waiting to see us sink or swim.

I had memorized my routine, not line for line but in what order I was going to do it. I knew what I was going to do up there on stage and I was ready. To say I wasn’t truly nervous would be a lie, but I do so much public speaking that getting up in front of a crowd doesn’t make me nervous at all. Having been a Radio DJ for a few years a microphone is very comfortable for me BUT I had never gone on stage to PURPOSELY make someone laugh. That made me nervous, I was anxious and wanted to get it over with.

There were 8 of us performing that night and 4 comics were in front of me. The closer it came to my turn on stage the less I listened to the other comics…I was trying to get in a zone but now I was one comic away from going on and my “What the fuck are you doing” meter went off. Holy Crap, no one laughed at these jokes last night. Am I am idiot? I must be…I need to turn around right now and get the hell out of here, just as I was about to turn and run screaming from the waiting area I heard Steve introduce me and someone’s hand on my shoulder pushing me towards the stage…Ahhhhhh Shit here I go.

The audience politely clapped as I grabbed the microphone. For a brief moment I felt naked on the stage, I hoped I remembered my routine. I did tape an index card onto the side of my water bottle that had bullet points to steer me in the right direction if I got lost, I referred to it once in the middle of my set.

The lights were bright enough that it was difficult to see everyone in the club, the stage is small and you are right on top of the audience. I took a deep breath and moved into my first joke…laugh…led me into my second joke bigger laugh…Holy Crap this is awesome…any nerves I felt evaporated with those first two jokes. Suddenly I was hanging around with my friends being the idiot center of attention that I for some reason need to be. I heard the laughing and fed off of it, but the funny thing is I couldn’t gauge how much laughter I was getting. I could hear responses, laughter, giggling, guffaws but none of it registered I was lost in the moment,  lost on stage with an incredible rush like NOTHING I’d ever felt before. Jimmy told me it’s like a drug…the more laughs you get the more of a rush it is, the more you lose yourself and become more yourself if that makes any sense. I felt a connection with everyone there, like we had hung out 100 times before that night and we were drinking some beers laughing our asses off at some stupid crap. I won’t tell you any of my jokes, you’ll have to come see me perform sometime but that 7 minutes flashed by in the snap of my fingers.

I finished my set walked off the stage to very loud applause and felt 10 feet high, what a feeling that was very hard to come down from I was amped and ready to get back on stage right then and there. As I’ve said, I’ve spoke in public, in front of very large crowds, I was on the radio at 94.3 the Point at the Jersey Shore and had TENS OF THOUSANDS of listeners and nothing felt like I did walking off that stage.

Over the years I’ve put on a little weight, ok a lot of weight, enough that I was getting Lap-Band surgery the following week or I would have been up on stage that very weekend somewhere. As I write this I’m recovering from the surgery but am anxious to get back on stage somewhere. I’m writing every day, some funny some not…it doesn’t always have to be funny as long as I’m writing that’s what matters. This was an exercise in writing for me today. I was unable to concentrate on this leading up to the surgery-but now that I’m beyond that I needed to chronicle my comic debut. For those of you wondering I didn’t look like Veruca Salt from Willie Wonka (the blueberry girl) but I was definitely feeling the weight…I’ve lost 24 pounds so far… when I get the video of my performance I will post it up…hopefully you’ll laugh when you see the video and when you visit me on a stage somewhere in NJ soon!

Share on Facebook

Just a quick observation…while cooking dinner I slightly burned the bread I was baking, ok it caught fire and was a total loss, and smoke spilled from the oven. The fancy pants smoke detector began to blare and then a very calm female voice began to say…Fire, Fire, Fire….over and over. Very calm and nonchalantly warning us that the house was on fire. For me it was much too calm…I want a smoke detector that screams at me….”Oh Lordy, Oh Jesus, The House is burning, get the F out…oh my God we’re all gonna die if you don’t get the F out of here!!!” How about an alarm that yells that-then I’m sure to get out. MAybe it can even faint half way through screaming, someone would have to pick it up, fan it a bit and it would carry on carrying on-”Oh Jesus, Oh Lord, MY House , NO you didn’t just burn the bread, Uh Uh..Oh Lord, Jesus”!!! Now that would be my kind of smoke alarm.

Share on Facebook

The story I’m about to share with you is ABSOLUTELY true, I’m not even changing the names to protect the innocent, while totally unbelievable I swear it is true.

First let me say this is a story of complete luck, it’s almost like a lottery story only I was 15 and couldn’t play the lottery. I would gladly trade this bit of dumb luck for the lottery today but I fear this used up my “PLEASE GOD” moment-total waste in hindsight but in the moment I think you’ll understand.

If you’ve read my blog you know all about the summer between 9th and 10th grade…if you haven’t, well you’ll  have to go back and read now won’t you?

I had recently got contact lenses. Back in the 80s contacts were not cheap and they were not disposable. They were expensive and I had been warned countless times to “BE CAREFUL” and I had “BETTER NOT LOSE THEM”. Had I lost my contacts I would have faced the wrath of my father, something that no one in their right mind would ever want to do. My Dad tended to over react sometimes, ok all the time, (ask me sometime about the Moped incident) but truly, lose my contacts I was a dead man.  

So it’s summer and I’m hanging with my girlfriend and some other people. We all decide it is hot enough to go to the park and go swimming. ME being the diligent, smart kid I was, get my contact lens case because when I get to the park and the stream I’m going to take my lenses out because back in the 80s according to the doctors if you swam with your contact lenses in you’d die instantly.

We arrive, I remove my contact lenses and swim with no issues…weeeeeee !!!! Oh boy we are having some fun. What? Time to go? Oh Ok, let me pop my contact lenses back in so I can see. Right lense pops in NO PROBLEM….just as I’m lifting the left lens to my eye…POOF a little tiny gust of wind, mind you the ONLY gust of wind on a completely hot sunny humid day in July. The F-You wind comes by and blows the contact lens off my finger into oblivion-or so I thought.

“Gosh Golly”! I yell, ok I made that up, I yelled some pretty foul things. My lens blew off my finger and straight into the stream. Yes the stream that is MOVING at a pretty good clip into the Metedaconk River which I’m sure in turn leads directly to the Atlantic Ocean.  Panic strikes me, I bolt off the bridge I am standing on and RUN down stream and enter the waist deep water. I made every deal with God I could think off, which is why I am convinced I will never win the lottery. I used up all my “Please God” moments with this one. I know, you’re saying “NO WAY”, I’m saying “YES”-I started to scoop up bubbles as they passed me, what else was I going to do. I scooped up countless bubbles, when I was just about to give up, when I scooped up one last set of bubbles and there LOW AND BEHOLD was my contact lens, right there in my hand. The lens landed upright and appeared like a bubble on the water-what are the odds of that?

I NEVER told my father that story, even into my 40s before he passed away I never shared that story with him, I was afraid he’d still kick my ass LOL…silly what we think of over a cold Sam Adams. I raise my glass to stupid luck and the fact that I know I will never ever win the lottery.

Share on Facebook

NO I’m not actually bored but this is something I constantly see my kids typing in their Facebook status line…OMG I am going to sound like my parents here…BORED? In my day we had basic cable and no Internet, THE HORROR! Even we were spoiled then at least we had HBO.

Conversation I recently had with my 12 Year Old Daughter…

Her (lying on couch flipping through on demand movies) Of course she didn’t say anything because God forbid she initiate a conversation with me.

Me: Hey what’s up?

Her: (Grunt)

Me: HELLO-what’s up?

Her: I’m bored! There is nothing on TV.

Me: WHAT? We have every pay channel known to man, we have at LEAST 500 channels (including HD) and you can’t find ANYTHING to watch?

Her: NO TV stinks.

Me: Go clean your room.

Seriously, now I know what my Dad meant when he said all those things that I thought were so stupid back in the day, because I must have sounded as pathetic. Although let’s be honest with each other, while we did have “basic” cable, I don’t remember spending too much time in front of the TV-I remember being outside actually interacting with the real world. Not growing a farm on Farmville and decking out my pad in Yoville.

I furnished my room with plastic milk crates…I know…I know… but some how a 14 year old kid in 1978 thought having a desk and shelves built out of milk crates was cool…but at least I was doing it in real life.

My oldest son spends a lot of time playing Call of Duty…killing imaginary friends online. I guess it’s the same thing we were doing back in the day. Using sticks to play war, if you were shot you had to count to 10 before you could get back up. But we were OUTSIDE my Sniper rifle was the long straight stick I found in the woods, not some weapon I found lying next to the dead avatar of some kid in the Baltics, who I’m sure in his language has told his parents an equal amount of time of how bored he is.

The status of one of my children was recently changed to “sooooooooo bbbbbbbooooooorrrrrrreeeeeeeddddddd” this posting was exactly 10 minutes after he had posted “I’m bored” For craps sake, we have Playstation, Xbox and Wii in my house, computers, as mentioned before cable TV, countless board games (which they say are BORED games), every toy they’ve asked for a Christmas, iPods, Blu Ray, Netflix…my God it is a smorgasbord of entertainment in my house. I’m almost ashamed to admit I have all this stuff…Look I like the modern comforts to, but trust me I am NEVER bored in my house.

Bored and unable to talk is how these kids will remember their childhood? Why do I mention that? My daughter was sitting right next to her cousin and instead of talking to each other they texted each other, What? No one talks any more.

I try to be a cool Dad, but man oh man I have trouble getting this generation…forget hoping I die before I get old, I just want to figure out my kids before I go senile.

Share on Facebook

Just received my professional Voice Over Demo, this is what I’ll be using to market myself to whoever wants to hire me. Give it a listen and let me know what you think…CLICK HERE FOR VOICE SITE

Sorry haven’t been around in a bit, I’m back!

Share on Facebook

Guess God was either busy, didn’t believe me, or is a Yankees fan. We’ll get ‘em next year. Thanks Phillies for a GREAT season!

Thanks God for listening any way! I’ll still take peace on earth and feeding the hungry if you have time!

Share on Facebook

God, it’s me Pottsie, I know you’re busy right now managing more important things in the world but if you could spare a couple of minutes for me I’d appreciate it.

I know I asked for this last year and I’m sure during that prayer I promised if you let the Phillies win I would never do something again, I don’t remember what it was but I’m sure I promised to not do something that I probably shouldn’t have been doing…I forget. But I promise, please let the Phillies win tonight, and I promise to never do whatever I promised not to do last year again. I know I’m being selfish so I’m also asking you to bring peace on earth and feed the hungry but if you could some how manage to have Pedro pitch the greatest game of his life tonight, and have Chase Utley hit 3 or 4 more homeruns and get Ryan Howard to stop swinging blindly at the outside breaking ball that EVERYONE knows is coming and allow the Phillies to stretch this out to game 7 I promise to call upon you again tomorrow to ask that they win game 7.

Thanks for listening God!

Share on Facebook